Why it is key to work with other parents: the benefits of collaborating

In the past families tended to raise children together.

In the past families tended to raise children together. There was a sense of community. We have all heard stories about neighbors looking out for one another’s children. Children knowing that if they got in trouble in the neighborhood that they could be disciplined by a neighbor and then that information would be communicated to their parents as well. You may have experienced this kind of upbringing yourself. There was a village mentality that was nurturing and secure.

These days many families and communities tend to be run with an “every man for himself” mentality.

What happened to the sense of community?

What happened to the sense of community? What happened to neighbors correcting the children of the neighborhood? What happened to parents being open to having their children corrected by a neighbor? We tend to be experiencing the drastic other end of this past mindset. Now we have parents who are willing to argue or even physically fight another parent for speaking to or correcting their child. Why is this?

Let me be clear in saying that I don’t support physically correcting anyone’s child who is not your own. I think that parents need to determine the best way of disciplining their child. However, my question is more about why is it that it is now taboo for an adult to tell a child (whom is not their own) that they are doing something wrong or trying to provide guidance to a child whom they see may be going down a destructive path?

There is nowhere where this is more evident than in schools.

There is nowhere where this is more evident than in schools. In the schools is where you see some parents who had major issues with teachers and staff members correcting their child for various reasons. Also, you had many instances of when children would get into conflict that instead of the parents wanting to be reasonable to resolve the issues, they instead wanted to continue the conflict and fight with the parents on the other side of the issue.

I think that a lot of this has to do with the societal shifts in the change of the family structure.

I think that a lot of this has to do with the societal shifts in the change of the family structure. When we moved from community-based living with neighbors who talked, socialized and interacted with one another to households who merely lived near each other, we lost the village-based approach to parenting. There are still some neighborhoods throughout the country that have strong communities but there are far less than it used to be.

However even in these fractured communities it is possible to form a collaborative network of parents who will raise their children together and hold them accountable together if everyone is willing to participate on some level.

The first thing that it will take is a parent or a small group of parents who are willing to step up.

The first thing that it will take is a parent or a small group of parents who are willing to step up and take the lead in organizing a way for the parents in the neighborhood to communicate effectively. This could be a social media group that is created, an email list, etc. There needs to be a way for parents to communicate concerns in the neighborhood but to also communicate directly with a parent that they need to speak with about an issue.

Once the communication system is set up, ground rules have to be established.

Once the communication system is set up, ground rules have to be established. It has to be clear that all parents and guardians within the group are going to be respectful in all communication and will not engage in negativity in the group. It will also have to be established that if there is an issue that parents will first figure out what happened before engaging in an emotional reaction. This will solve alot of issues, many time parents hear about an issue from their child and based upon that information alone they react. Once they find out all of the details surrounding the issue, they tend to calm down and realize that they should have taken the time to figure out everything before reacting emotionally.

Then it will be important for the leader or the leaders of the group to promote positivity.

Then it will be important for the leader or the leaders of the group to promote positivity. There will be more negative situations than positive in most cases in a neighborhood. It will be important for the leaders of the group to ensure that they are promoting positive events and highlight the good things that are happening. For example, have parents and guardians highlight when their child has made a positive achievement such as made the honor roll, made a sports team, completed an impressive project, etc. When there are meetings and events happening in the school, send out notices about those events. Encourage families to participate in a community project such as collecting canned goods for a food bank or supporting a neighbor in need. When there is a plethora of positivity in the group, it will tend to drown out the negative people and the negativity.

A community of like-minded parents is an invaluable resource. Everyone can keep better track of their children when everyone is looking out for them. Everyone can feel safer and rest easier when you know that you have a network of parents who have your back should something go wrong. The schools would be extremely grateful knowing that there is an exterior network of parents who are working together for the benefit of the community as a whole.

And you don’t have to wait to create a formal organization such as a neighborhood organization or parent teacher organization, a simple way of staying in touch with one another would be all that you need to move an entire community forward.